Looking To Make a Career Shift? After the Crisis in 2020, I Am Feeling More Hope.
If you’re like me, your whole life was flipped upside down starting in March of 2020. In some ways, it was for the better. In a lot of ways, you aren’t sure. All you know is that the course of your life has been altered. Even now, almost 4 years later, you’re unsure if you’re going in the right direction.
Is there such thing as a “right direction”?
In June 2020, after months of attempting to apply for unemployment in Florida as emergency aide, I had to make the tough decision to give up the apartment I had lived in for 3 years. I was working as a freelance musician and tarot card reader, and overnight, I went from doing a gig or two every weekend to absolutely no work at all.
Nothing compares to the agony of losing your home. If you know, you know.
I moved a total of 5 times in less than a year. I spent almost 6 months living on a broken-down houseboat on the St. John’s River. Before the boat could be fixed up to be livable, I bounced from one Airbnb property to another. Anyone I knew was at least a 45-minute drive away.
If it weren’t for my dog, I don’t know if I would have survived.
My mental health was completely shot. I was isolated and heartbroken. A friend forced me to go to a job interview, and I ended up getting a job as a tarot card reader at the famous Hotel Cassadaga. It was a blessing amid a lot of struggle.
The first 2 weeks of life on the boat were humiliating. Due to supply issues, it took longer than expected for my composting toilet to arrive. The trailer park that was attached to the boat dock had facilities. But my neighbors decided to dump bucketfuls of human feces into the toilets, rendering them unusable. I bought a 5-gallon bucket and a toilet seat, and that’s what I used as a bathroom for 2 weeks.
That might be a little TMI, but I am bringing all this up to say…I know pain, instability, and uncertainty. And I know what it is to have that pain almost 4 years in the rearview and still feel like it is looming over you.
I studied my whole life to be a stage performer. My first professional job was at a dinner theatre when I was 14. I graduated summa cum laude from the University of Central Florida with a degree in musical theatre. Ever since childhood, I longed to be an actress and a singer.
Everything I worked for disappeared overnight in 2020 during the pandemic, and part of me wants it back. The other part of me isn’t sure who I would be in the spheres where I used to thrive.
What do you do when you don’t know what you want to be?
I used to be so sure of what I wanted. Now, I wonder. I had the good fortune to meet my loving partner during the pandemic. He is the one who got me (and my dog Rosie) off the boat. Life with him has changed my priorities somewhat. The need for stability is stronger than it ever was before.
But I am a free-spirited person. I long for adventure and intrigue.
Do I want that adventure to come from performing? I think that the answer is yes and no.
I am making attempts now to get back on stage. I hope someday to continue writing songs and playing them places. Maybe I can build a creative life that also treats me better.
I happened upon Sarah Turner’s course on copywriting as I was attempting to answer these questions for myself. It’s called “Write Your Way to Freedom”. Even the title hit all the boxes for me. I love to write, and I want more freedom! Soul-crushing job after soul-crushing job is not helping me reclaim the parts of myself that I lost when I lost my home.
Now, I am on fire and excited to use the skills and knowledge I have cultivated over the years to help other people’s businesses grow. I feel a hope in my heart that as I give a voice to businesses that are doing good in the world, I will find my own voice again. Or, maybe not again. Maybe I will find a brand new voice entirely.
How does this all relate to you, reader? I know I have spent a lot of time in this blog talking about myself.
There is something I learned while studying theatre, and it’s this: the more specific the story, the more relatable it is.
The words I’ve written on this page are my story specifically, but I think they have value outside of myself. I believe that the more authentically I share, the more my words will touch the people they are meant to touch.
So, whether you have ambitions for the stage, or you do something less creative and more methodical, I hope you know that you are not alone if you are still grappling with the aftermath of the pandemic. Most other people seem to have moved on, but I am still here not feeling okay some days.
While that is my reality, I am still turning my head toward the future and trying to be of service in this life where I can. Our hope for the future is not mutually exclusive from our pain in the past. Our hope is informed by our pain.
I know struggle now more deeply than I have ever known it before, AND I am more confident in my own resilience than I was prior to losing my home. These two opposing truths can live together inside of me.
This is a wonderful time to build something new! As 2023 draws to a close and 2024 fast approaches, I feel the energy of a new beginning. For the first time since 2020, I feel like I have a bit more mental space to dream of a future that is full and bright.
My wish for you is that you feel this hope, too!